by Darin Oakes
Do you have big goals, but struggle to get the results you want? Are you trying to work through an issue, but it seems out of control?
Have there been changes in your relationships, occupation, or health that you need to improve? If you’re looking for the clarity you need to succeed, consider using a coach.
At the beginning of 2019, I had an opportunity to take a class in non-directional coaching. Previously I had worked with the Health Coach Institute to earn certificates in life and health coaching.
In some ways, I was testing myself to see if what I learned would stack up to this different approach. What I found was the clarification of what I had learned and more.
This course was based on the COACH Model for Christian Leaders by Keith E. Webb. Read more about this method HERE.
It was a grueling week of content and practice. We learned to coach and to be coached.
I found it freeing to base each session on what the client wanted. Not what I thought they needed, but what they felt they needed.
There was a shift in my understanding of intuition as it relates to the spiritual. As a Christian, I believe that the Holy Spirit is at work on the earth. It was nice to have the freedom to incorporate this aspect into coaching.
What Coaching Is
Coaching is about you
It’s about your goals, your learning, and your growth.
Coaching is about learning
The focus is on learning rather than teaching. You are the expert on your life.
Your coach uses techniques such as active listening, open questions, and sometimes challenge to force growth. All this assists you in discovering insights.
From these insights, your coach will work with you on planning what your next steps will be all while encouraging you and remaining supportive.
It is not difficult to know a thing; what is difficult is to know how to use what you know.
– Han Fei Tzu
Coaching is about action
It is about your action. Each session you will determine 1-3 action steps to take before the next session. You may be surprised how quickly you progress toward your goals.
Coaching is about all of you
It’s not just about your work. We all know that changing old habits and thought patterns are difficult. Your coach recognizes these patterns and will support you as you change and grow.
What Coaching Isn’t
It’s not therapy.
Therapy focuses on the past to bring healing and unblock a person to move ahead. Coaching is future and action-oriented, for people who are basically clear of psychological and emotional issues.
It’s not mentoring.
Mentors are experts in a particular field who seek to pass on their expertise to a person. Mentors provide knowledge, advice, guidance, correction, and encouragement to people.
They may use some coaching techniques, but mentors usually play the roles of advisor and teacher to guide and impart knowledge and wisdom.
It’s not training.
In training, the trainer sets the agenda. Change comes from outside the participant, via the trainer.
In coaching, you set the agenda. Coaches use adult learning principles of self-discovery to motivate change from within you.
It’s not authoritarian.
Did you have a tough sports coach who used to yell at you and make you do a million push-ups if you made a mistake? That’s not coaching.
Your coach will push you beyond what you might think you can do, but will always be supportive. You are in control. The responsibility to decide and act is yours.
How is Christian Coaching Unique?
Coaches, Christian or not, will use many of the same communication tools. The big difference is that Christian coaches bring Christian beliefs and practices to the coaching relationship.
If you are a Believer, you have the Holy Spirit. It’s paramount that you listen to what He says regarding your goals, actions, and next steps.
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened…
– Ephesians 1:18
Christian coaches will encourage you to listen to the Holy Spirit and then act. Together you will look at how God has called and equipped you in life and achievement.
You can feel comfortable sharing your spiritual needs, doubts, and desires. Christian coaches will support you where you are and encourage you in the direction you want to grow.
Why Does Coaching Work?
Coaching works because it brings out your best – what God put in! Coaches believe you can create your own best answers and are trained to support you in that process.
Specifically, this is what your coach will do during coaching sessions:
- Listen. Your story is central. Coaches fully engage in what you are saying. They also listen to the Holy Spirit and encourage you to do the same.
- Ask questions. Coaches use questions to stimulate your thinking and creativity. Questions are about possibilities and the future.
- Encourage. Everyone needs encouragement, and usually, we don’t get enough. Your coach will hold up your vision, your progress, and your efforts.
- Facilitate while letting you lead. Coaches facilitate your learning and problem-solving. Yet, they are never fully leading – you are, with your agenda and your approach.
Why Use a Coach?
You will never maximize your potential in any area without coaching. It is impossible. You may be good. You may even be better than everyone else. But without outside input, you will never be as good as you could be.
– Andy Stanley, The Next Generation Leader
The reasons people want coaching are endless and as unique as the person. Here are a few examples that motivate people to use a coach.
- To make significant changes
- To better deal with uncertainty
- To make better decisions
- To set better goals
- To reach goals faster
- To grow spiritually
- To become financially more stable
- To get ahead personally
- To have a collaborative partner
- To improve their relationships
- To make a bigger impact on the world
- To be a better leader
- To simplify their lives
- To reduce stress
- To keep up with the speed of life
- To address transitions in location and employment
Exercise: Circle the things from the above list that you desire.